Wednesday, 6 January 2016

M.E, my Grandad and I

My Grandad was like my king. In my eyes, he was the head of my family. I adored him completely. He was loving, caring, funny, kind and was such a character. 

My Grandad passed away three days before Christmas 2015. My heart is broken. He meant the world to me. 

Over the past four years, things have changed in my life, becoming ill with M.E, meant I could spend more time with my Grandad (see earlier post). I will be forever grateful to M.E as it meant I couldn't work but I could spend time with Grandad which I wouldn't have been able to do if I was still healthy and working. However, there are other times when I wanted rid of M.E because I wasn't well enough that day/ week to see him. My health has got worse slowly over the four and a half years that I have been poorly, and I ended up being at the point of being able to see my grandad once a week/ once fortnight maybe. I know that I am lucky to be even able to get to see him that much, but it didn't settle well with my instincts. My heart and instinct was telling me to look after him. My poor body just couldn't do it and at that point I would get frustrated with M.E. Grateful one minute, frustrated the next. 

Like all of us M.E sufferers, we want perfection, we want things done well, we want to do our best and in this situation, all I wanted to do was to look after my dear Grandad myself. It wasn't viable as I have carers to look after myself, but in an ideal world I would have. I wanted to show him how much I loved him and to just take care of him. 

My Auntie and Uncle and cousins really really looked after him in the last week of his life and I just know he would have loved it. Charlotte, one of my cousins, and I sang with Grandad one afternoon for a couple of hours. We had Adele - Someone Like You on loop, as he loved Adele and he still knew some of the words to that song. It was a magical afternoon that I never want to forget. 

My Grandad was so loved and so cared for. He was one of the best men that have walked this planet. 

Gone are the days we used to share, but in our hearts, you will always be there.
Rest easy Grandad, and you take care of Nanny now,

Take care guys,


Rachel xxx

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