Up until about half an hour ago, today was a good day. This afternoon I have been in the oxygen tank for about 75 minutes. I think it is starting to help increase my energy levels for a couple hours after my session, which is brilliant!! I have met a lady that also uses the oxygen tank that has ME and today we had a good chat and bounced positivity off of each other. I came away from my session feeling really positive and determined and also with a slight increased energy level than usual. At that moment I felt like I was battling ME head on with a strong mind.
Now, just a few hours later, I am full of frustration (and pain). I was invited by a friend to take part in a pub quiz with some friends and wanted to go along and join in. I was picked up and taken there and was enjoying myself but was suddenly overcome with tiredness and pain. I had to ask my Mum to come and collect me as I wasn't well enough to stay and therefore could not take part in the quiz. I am so frustrated that I cannot do the things that I want to do. I could not sit down in a chair and answer a couple of questions. I needed my bed and to be in a comfortable position and I will be asleep very shortly, I am sure.
I have had a busy day compared to usual but I still find it very hard to accept that I cannot do all of the things that I want to do. I have to pick and choose the activities that I take part in, however I find this very unfair and frustrating. I want to be "normal" and be able to do what I want, whenever I want. I often think that I have accepted my illness, and I think I have to a certain degree but clearly I have not fully accepted it otherwise I would not be writing this post!
In the mean time I am going to try to work more on my acceptance,
Take care and try to accept something in your life that you cannot change,
Rachel x
Feel your frustration Rachel. I try to remember that acceptance and "giving in" are two completely different things. It's so frustrating not being able to plan ahead and know you can do those things.
ReplyDeleteI'm interested in your use of the oxygen tank as we have one near me, but I haven't tried it. Do you use it for pain management or more for energy/fatigue symptoms?
Hi! It is really horrible not being able to plan ahead, or if I do plan ahead, I have to accept that I may cancel which I shouldn't, but do feel bad about! I hate letting people down! I must learn how to say no to things if I'm not well enough! I find that the oxygen tank helps with my energy/ fatigue. I also find that my pain actually increases after being in the tank because of having to sit in the same sit for so long. (I get pain in my back, hips, thighs and knees) Saying that, I really recommend it! I really look forward to my sessions, you can only give it a go and it can't do you any harm really! Let me know if you try it or want to know anything else :)
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